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Astrid's Folly

from The Ballad of Astrid by Saros-FM

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Journal Entry 5

It was the beginning of the new year when I got a call from Wither as she headed back from a test flight, there was warning sirens in her ship and she was screaming through the communicator about a fleet of single person ships flying towards Tintagel from the north and shooting at her, I told her to get back here as fast as she could but the line cut to static and I didn’t hear anything else, I quickly called all of the citizens to find shelter underground or flee the sector to the south, I gathered the armies and scrambled the fighter crafts but they had no effect on the approaching ships, every single one of them died and I had ordered it.
Warren led the guard to the Throne Room and barricaded the entrances ordering people around like it was his calling, he pulled me aside as blasts started to rock the building from outside and told me he had a ship at the back, ready to fly away and that he wanted me to go, I couldn’t leave him though, he was my best friend and I told him that I wouldn’t leave him.
His face softened a little and he told me that watching me grow up was the greatest privilege he could’ve ever hoped for, that he loved me.
I was shocked of course, who wouldn’t be? He pushed me back and yelled at me to just go as the doors exploded open, he ran towards the fight and that was the last I saw of him.
I ran as fast as I could, stumbling and crying because everything I had made was gone, taken down by another group of shitty people, just when my life looked up, as always it was torn apart.
I climbed in the ship and took off, while flying away I looked outside and saw one of the ships of the pirates, the same build as the ships of the men that murdered my parents, carrying the same sword and eagle insignia, at that point I had been numbed to pain, but my anger slowly took hold as all the feelings of what happened to my parents rushed back, I swore I would find them, and murder them all, I promised that to the memory of Warren and Wither.

It took about a month to find the guy I was looking for, but I found him, I snuck into his house while he was asleep and stabbed him in the chest, he wasn’t dead instantly though, my aim had been off from nerves, but when I stabbed him he woke up and and cried out looking right at me.
That’s when I saw he was the wrong person, he was similar, but not the right one, maybe not even a member of the pirates.
I dropped my knives, whispering apologies, how I hadn’t meant to stab him, but he wasn’t listening, there was fear in his eyes, yet a strange calmness, he stopped me from talking and forced out a few words.
“What’s done is done, there’s no going back, so tell my wife and child I loved them ok?”
When he did that I froze and started to let out a few tears, kneeling down next to him I promised I would do that, I remember thinking about what I had done for a while, I’d become the same monster who took my parents away from me, what had I become? How could I kill someone? I sat there with him as the life slipped out of him, reassuring I would make everything right.
And that was the day I murdered my first innocent victim.

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from The Ballad of Astrid, released February 11, 2018

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